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May. 25th, 2005 @ 12:19 am
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You have to tie me up and hit me very hard-- smack me like you mean it now because I'm really really in the mood to go for some Jedi bondage.
You heard me, JEDI. BONDAGE.
The Jedi didn't return for nothing.Current Mood:  naughty Current Music: Jessica Simpson |
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So today I hung out with Daimon and made him apply at Target. Then we chilled a while and hung out. After this I met up with Lindsay and Bev and Elizabeth and we all went to the BBC and Drank a bunch.
*****************************Edit****************************
The rest of this was a long bitchy rant about my relationship problems, but I decided Not to bother, if things work out, they do, If not, I'llb e sad, but I cant change that
**********************Edit****************************** |
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Splort
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Nov. 19th, 2004 @ 11:44 pm
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As you all can see I've been stressed lately. I was seeing red last night. I think i'm better today. I dont react well to the current drama going on in my life. Gonna go hang out with Daimon today.
What else? Not much. Maggi and Myself are currently takeing a break. Time to destress. Her Idea, not mine, but If it helps make her happier I'll do it. It makes me miserable, but, my other option was to drive our realationship into the ground. I love maggi, probably more than a should, but then again, who can control what they feel. I plan on being with her for a long while. My only problem is the people that dont respect that I'm dateing her. Its hard to purposely stay away from someone you love this much.
Work is driving me up the wall. I'm sure it's holiday stress or something, but I want to pummel half the peoiple I work with. The other half are still pretty cool. But I'm done there. Now its only a matter of time.
To the people who took offense to my last post, I was having a bad day and hated everyone at that moment. Sorry if I hurt your feelings. I was mainly venting about the people who purposely dont call back just because they think that if they answer the phone that they lose something, or that by not picking up thier proveing a point. Imagine how fucked up it must feel to -need- to talk to somone, going out of your head without the ability to vent. But no one will be there, and then you find out that they were just sitting around doing nothing and ignoreing the phone. Rawr.
Ah well. Talk to you later world |
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Today just sucked. Period. I wake up and go to an interview at Target. Go to get drug tested and then realize target didnt give me back my ID so I had to go back to target and then back to drug testing place, This makes me an hour late for work.
Work also sucked, long aggravating and I'm just so ready to leave.
On top of everything I cant get a hold of a single damned person I wanted to talk to today. I desperately wanted to do something tonight but NO ONE would return fucking phone call. Is it that goddamn hard.
I'm trying to make good with Maggi and this 'break' were on, but even the fucking people who claim to love you wont even give a shit enough to call, even if just to leave a message that thier not in the mood to talk.
Fuck you, and you, and yes, you. I hate everyone. |
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mu woman stood me up tonight. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. |
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I think I have issues, I fell so damned paranoid all the time. I feel like somethings changed between me and Maggi. I'm praying that its just the 'honeymoon' is over. I lay awake at night wondering the most paranoid untrusting thoughts. I love her and I trust her. But theres alwats that suspicion, that worry. We spend more time apart, and there are so many guys that want her. Its hard to trust fully again after being so betrayed. I know she will read this first thing in the morning, I dont want to lose her, I jst feel I'm being pushed away all the time. I know she's stresed, and so am I, I just feel I get lashed out at. I feel like I'm a burden to her all of a sudden. i dont want that. Its late/early, I'm rambling off my train of thought. I worry about her and i want to help her but I feel she wont let me. I miss the 'honeymoon' damnit. I hate all this 'logical' thinking and settling in. I want romance, I want making out and groping in alleyways. I feel... stagnant, I want that spark back. I dont know what to do. Breaking up is the -LAST- thing on my mind. I just dont know how she works. She seems so, uninterested in doing things lately. Everything is so...serious. And the more she pushes the more I want to 'cling' to her. Which makes me feel like some stupid lapdog boy. Grawr my brain hurts. I think I'll go to bed now.
**EDIT**
Yeah, I was having a weird night last night. Maggi makes me happy. I just feel all.... blah. Stress is getting to me, I'm happy with her and that makes me paranoid.
**EDIT**
Maggi, I love you.
The rest of you, later.
Ry4n
Oct. 28th, 2004 @ 01:04 am
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| » Dead, dead, dead, I make you dead |
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Also, today, Maggi's birtyhday plust our two months together day versary thing. I've been moody all day damnit. Rawr.
Anywho.
That is all.
Worship me.
Oct. 25th, 2004 @ 07:13 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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Lemme see... blah fuck. Annoyed today. Trapped at home because of the rain and didnt feel like becoming a wet rat outside. Getting new glasses soon (yay for vision) Other thant hat not a lot. Maggi -said- she was gonna call me after work, but she didn’t, and as her phone is dead I cant talk to her which makes me slightly aggravated. Not because I need to know what she's doing every second of the day, but when I'm traped at home with mother and two brothers I get edgy and talking to her would give me a bit of a release, or some releif from the skin crawling, cabin fever like thing I have going now. That and the fact that when someone says there gonna call me I like them to keep thier word about it damnit. Just a minor pet peve. I got a lot of them. I helped my mom mop up lighter fluid and put in new carpet in the garage today, she still tries to milk me for all my money. But I have no housing options at the moment so I'm stuck.
Ry4n
Oct. 19th, 2004 @ 09:11 pm
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| » A Thought... |
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PONIES HAVE PENISES.
AND THEY GET BONERS.
That is all.
Oct. 13th, 2004 @ 01:20 am
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| » OWWIE! |
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Ow ow ow ow.
Got both eyebrows pierced yesterday and then went to psyclon show and pitted. Mt body hurts.
The eyebrows hurt worse than both my labrets combined. Ouch. The groups that opened before psyclon were good at first, but then they just wouldnt stop playing. They just kept going on and on and on.... ugh
Anyway gonna try an fuck wif my hair...
Sep. 20th, 2004 @ 03:56 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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what to say.
Hairless again
like a shaven cat, but stubbly
sittin at mah Maggi's
just watched movie
feelin' kinda drained, dont know why,
stressed at work, and junk.
Scheduled for sunday when I shouldnt,
a day I already have plans, gonna try and switch out.
feelin all blah and shit at the moment.
ahh well.
should go do some more jogging soon.
Poot.
Ahh well
I really have nothing to say.
Livejournal sort of defeats the purpose of writing private thoughts dont ya think? Because you unconsiouly edit things based on who you know will be reading it.
Bah.
Sep. 13th, 2004 @ 02:04 pm
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| » Why is this so true? |
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I am an imaginary number
1i
I don't really exist
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what number are you?
this quiz by orsa
Fuck u! I iz re4l d4mnit! Bite 4 monkey!
Sep. 5th, 2004 @ 06:34 pm
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| » Shotgun wound=pulpy fleash |
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Life is good. To a point. But better than normal. I feel things progressing rather than stagnateing like I've been doing for the last few years. I'm head over frikkin heel's fer maggie. And now that all the drama has died down our days off together are so peaceful. To day was lie in bed and cuddle untill later when we ate and then went swimming (about an hour after eating :P) Now apparently its time to go see the Village at the cheap theatre with ashly an' forrest. Maggi means so fucking much to me. But theres more, even when I was with sonja we werent this active. We actually do things, I feel motivated with her. Its so damned cool. Tonight later were joging too, I WANT TO BE THIN AGAIN> No more belly! Die Belly die! Work is getting be be a drag actually. I mean I love my job, but cartain people there are starting to grate on me. I mean when I'm working my ass off then they come and rag on me for switching areas with somone because I didnt want to cough on customers because I'm still vaguely sick. Bitching at me when she's not even the service manager at the time. Grah! Ah well, dumb broad. I think that I need to get a back massage for an hour. So anyway, just ramblin at this point.....
Ry4n
Sep. 5th, 2004 @ 05:40 pm
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| » Stasis Infraction |
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I think I gots me one of dem ear infektions when I wuz sick as hell. Sucks. My equlibrium iz all bessed up to all hell and ears are bugin me on da inside. I hung out wit Jenny again, Was lots of fun. I got Maggie sick, kinda feel bad about it. Heheh. Other than that Nammuch else. Drama's cooling down which means I get to have relaxing time with My Maggie. Yay!
Sep. 4th, 2004 @ 09:02 am
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| » I HAVE THE POWER |
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Remember about those whiny obsessive boys ive been bitching about. Ya'll should go take a look at my brevious post and look at the comments. There is a gentalman there that needs some mental help. Hehehhehehheaaaaaaahehehahahahah! Yes I'm a prick, jerk... but look at my LJ name and expect anything else. Oh, and then ho see what he posts on Maggi's journal (sugarmonkey) and even his own. Mand cant get over a break up and well, frankly, when he's trashtalking my girl, his life will be hell untill he stops. Nobody talks shit about a girl I'm dateing but me. If Maggi's a bitch then she's my bitch and no one elses. Love all of ya.
Aug. 30th, 2004 @ 04:32 pm
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| » I KNOW YOU READ THIS |
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OKay Nick, Ick, or whatever you want to be called. Heres the deal. You are acting like a little bitch. That was my voice you heared telling you to stop calling. I have no problem with you in most ways. But your acting like a pathetic whiny little bitch of a boy. You arent even a man, you have been emasculated. Stop whining. If you want to talk to maggi, call her once, leave a short, concise message, and I'm sure she'll talk to you when she feels like it. But calling every frickin ten minutes does nothing but make her opiniopn of you any higher. You and her are broken up. She is my girlfriend. And I dont care if she talks to you or not. Her choice. She is her own person. treat her with some fuckin respect. I'm sure your hurting, but move the fuck on and let your balls drop. Be a man not a fuckin worm.
Aug. 29th, 2004 @ 01:49 pm
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| » Diseased |
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*HACKCOUGH* Mmmm Lung Butter. Spent all day at home yesterday. Then Maggi came and daged me over to her house a bit after midnight. We cuddled and went to bed, She took care of me in the way only a girlfriend could. ANyway, feeling a LIL beter, Still all coughy and shit. I hate it.
What else? Not much, drama is almost non existant. Feet hurt like a bitch. Other stuff. NOt a lot Just wanna stay in bed, I think were gonna go see the exorcist in a few, I should put on some more clothes. Maggi is in da shower.
Aug. 29th, 2004 @ 12:44 pm
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| » Contaminate Orafice |
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Hahahahahafuckshit!
STUPID people. Talk shit about me to the woman I'm seeing and not think she's gonna tell me?! Fucking pathetic idiotic men. Fuck you, I've hung out with you five times, known you less than a month, You dont know me you faggotish pile of shit. Dont tell the girl I'm seeing that I'm fickle, polyamourus. I've been engaged for a year and a half before this Xmas, you know so little of my nature, dont you go trying to sabotage my relationship with someone that I happen to Like VERY fucking much just because your brain cancerous ass is jealous. I dont give a shit how fucking sick you are or if you may die at any moment. Suck my cock and lick my ass clean after I take a shit on your mothers cunt. RAWR!
Other than that..... Life is good. Me lick...er like Maggi lots. Work is work. Still dealing with pathetic men.
Jenny still in WA, miss her, hangin out with her when she gets back.
Maggi makes me wanna dance in my seat, shes in the shower right now. I'm at her house. (jealous arent you) My hair is black again,. I look spooky. BOO!
Ahh well.
Ry4n
Aug. 23rd, 2004 @ 07:16 pm
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| » Mmmmm Yummy day, Hair Dying fun and MORE! |
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Dyeing mah hair black, well Maggi is. Its fun, no more blonde ryan, for now at least, we'll see what happens. Um blah, Not a lot else, eating Mr Chow's. MMM Chow-Belly
Aug. 22nd, 2004 @ 03:42 pm
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| » morning breath. |
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hello loverlies. life iz fun. But complicated. work is soon so I wont ramble too much. Dont you think people are stupid when they talk shit about you in front of your best friend and somehow dont think he'll tell you? I've been spending a lot of time with maggi. About 13+ days straight we've hung out now. This violently agressive boy likes her muchly. Complications arise though. Like two of my friends liked her first, but now I'm much further than they'll ever be. But they dont know this. I'm half dreading the moment they find out. Then there is Jenny, whom I still like a lot. But then again she just wants to be friends. So me and Maggi are seeing eachother, but I'm trying not to ruin my friendship with Jenny, who is dear to me. At this point though, well, things are progressing. Plus, I've been working out.... sort of, Jogging a lot. I WANNA BE SKINNY AGAIN. Okay I really should stop being nekkid and go get dressed, and get ready for WORK.. *shudder*
Ry4n
Aug. 19th, 2004 @ 08:28 am
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